Second-Guessing My Pregnancy
- Feelings about one's pregnancy can fluctuate strongly within the first few months due to hormonal changes, even if the pregnancy was planned.
- When preparing for motherhood, the immensity of the task can easily lead to self-doubts. In these situations, talking with other mothers and voicing your doubts may help you regain your confidence.
- Life changes can be deeply unsettling, to the point of questioning whether to keep the baby. Even here, support is available to help you reclaim your courage.
This page addresses these issues and provides guidance on how to proceed.
⚖️ Wondering whether to keep the baby? Take our Abortion Quiz
I Am Feeling Unsure Whether I Made the Right Choice...
Doubts about one's pregnancy are common in early pregnancy. The elation may give way to a pit in your stomach, seemingly without forewarning, causing you to wonder whether you made the right choice. While these emotional changes may be multifaceted, as addressed below, much of this emotional rollercoaster may be triggered by pregnancy hormones. The hormonal changes that take place in early pregnancy can wreak havoc on your emotions to the point that you do not even recognise yourself, leading to self-doubt. The good news is that hormone levels stabilise after the first trimester, allowing your emotions to settle again.
Doubts about Motherhood
Many women wonder what life as a mom will be like. Thoughts of motherhood can quickly change from joyful anticipation to dread when self-doubts arise, such as: Am I up to the task of being a mom? Having second thoughts about motherhood reveals your awareness of the immensity of the task and displays your sense of responsibility. Given this challenge, it would be more surprising not to experience self-doubt.
It may help to remember that women are not born mothers. It is a skill that is learned over time and perfected by no one. You don't have to be perfect; you are allowed to make mistakes! When feeling doubtful about being a mom, choose to focus on the aspects of motherhood you look forward to.
- Go to First-Time Mum to read more about being nervous about becoming a mum.
- Take a quiz to discover your unique traits and strengths:
👥 Pregnancy Personality Test
💪 Strengths Finder Test
Pregnancy Regret Because of Life Changes
Perhaps you were initially excited about the pregnancy, but now things are turning out differently than planned. Sometimes, new life circumstances can give rise to doubts, such as a change in relationship status, job loss, or sickness. The path you had initially envisioned has taken an unexpected turn. This may even cause you to question your pregnancy decision and maybe wonder: Is keeping the baby still an option?
Unsure about Pregnancy Because We Broke Up
Maybe you are reconsidering the pregnancy because the baby's dad is no longer in the picture. Until this point, you had probably always envisioned the baby's father by your side. Now, you might be facing single motherhood, which might evoke concern and doubt about whether to continue the pregnancy. You are probably still processing this development and grieving the loss of the idea of a picture-perfect family. Understandably, you need time to process the breakup before deciding about the pregnancy.
Allow yourself room to breathe and move on so that you can see things more clearly. Is there a possibility of reconciling with the father, maybe once the baby is born? Is co-parenting an option? Or what is needed so that you can manage on your own?
Think through the following questions:
What would help you regain your footing and feel more confident about handling this situation? Who could you turn to for support? What would help you in being prepared for single motherhood?
Self-care is vital right now. It allows you to slow your thoughts enough to discern a way forward that aligns with your innermost desires and convictions. What would help you regain a sense of calm? Taking a walk, soaking in the tub, going to a café...
- Go to Pregnant and Single to read more.
Unsure about Pregnancy Because I Lost My Job
The financial concerns that coincide with job loss can be enough to put a pregnancy into a tailspin. Suddenly, you are left to wonder, "Can I still afford a baby?" Fortunately, practical and financial support is available even before the baby is born.
Check out our informational pages so that your dream can remain a reality:
Unsure about Pregnancy Because of a Diagnosis
A new health diagnosis or a foetal defect finding can cause you to wonder whether continuing the pregnancy is still an option. Perhaps your doctor told you your pregnancy is high-risk, or you were diagnosed with an autoimmune disease or another long-term health concern? Or maybe your baby was diagnosed with a foetal defect?
This kind of news can be overwhelming, and you may wonder how this will affect your pregnancy. It may be helpful to remember that if you were physically well enough to allow for conception and implantation and continued foetal development, your body will usually be able to sustain the pregnancy. Modern medicine has made it possible to have a healthy pregnancy and delivery in most cases. If you are worried about a recent diagnosis, talk to your pregnancy care team and don’t hesitate to seek the support you need.
Unless your life is in immediate danger, take the time you need to process the news and discern which path is right for you and your baby.
I Am Still Having Second Thoughts About Pregnancy...
If you are having second thoughts about keeping the baby and are unsure what to do, take part in our weeklong decision coaching. Upon signing up, you will receive a daily email for seven days. This decision coaching includes food for thought, tips for a mature decision, and experiences from other women.
