Pregnancy without a significant other?  Breakup during Pregnancy 

Can I Manage a Pregnancy on My Own?

💔Complicated Relationship and Pregnant — How Do I Respond? Quiz

• Tensions in the relationship and thoughts of separation while pregnant can cause uncertainty and fear. This article addresses relationship stressors and possible solutions.
• More than ever, during pregnancy, many women long for their partner's encouragement and support, making a break-up during pregnancy all the more painful.
• Being pregnant without a significant other may give rise to the question of whether or not to keep the baby.

Complicated Relationship and Pregnant: How Do I Respond? — Quiz

Everything Is Different Than Expected—This Isn’t How I Imagined It...

Pregnancies happen regardless of one's relationship status or how well the relationship is going. Many women are faced with the news of an unintended pregnancy while no longer in a relationship with the baby's dad. Others face relationship difficulties, leading to thoughts of separation during pregnancy. This may even be the case, although both partners had wanted a baby, and the pregnancy was planned.

When envisioning your future, you probably dreamed of more perfect circumstances surrounding your pregnancy. Disappointment, anger, and sadness are just a few of the emotions that can understandably arise right now. You may be wondering: Why me? And how do I move forward with my life, plans, and the pregnancy?
Maybe you are also feeling a glint of hope: Pregnancy is the beginning of a new phase in life, which may also allow you a fresh start. 

Relationship Issues During Pregnancy

Tensions in a relationship and thoughts of separation during pregnancy can have various causes.

Hormonal Changes

Pregnancy-related hormonal changes should not be underestimated. They can initially cause a lot of upheaval. Especially in the early weeks, when your hormone levels are adjusting to the pregnancy, strong (and sometimes negative) emotional reactions are not uncommon. Many women experience doubts and fears during this time, including concerns about their relationship. A sense of discomfort or even aversion toward one's significant other may arise, caused by an inward focus. During early pregnancy, some women feel like they can't stand their partner. It is probably a comfort to know that this is common and usually does not last.

Maybe you can relate. With the onset of pregnancy, have you suddenly—without apparent reason—been questioning whether to continue the relationship? Give yourself time to let the hormonal whirlwind and emotional chaos settle. During this period, avoid putting pressure on yourself and allow yourself to rest. Not until later in pregnancy do couples usually experience more enjoyment of each other and the ability to see life from a new perspective. So, it might be helpful to let go of the expectation for everything to be perfect now and try to calmly ride out the hormonal mood swings. 

• Wondering how your body changes during pregnancy? Go to Stages of Pregnancy
• Unsure how far along you are? Use our Pregnancy Tracker to gain clarity! 

Unresolved Conflicts

Maybe your relationship has been struggling for a while? An (unplanned) pregnancy can bring underlying conflicts to the surface. If there were disagreements or communication issues before, they might become more apparent during this transitional time. Or it may reveal that your relationship wasn’t as solid or committed as you thought.

Therefore, encountering a pregnancy is an opportunity to address struggles in the relationship and resolve issues—by talking them through, using relationship resources, or going to couples counselling. 

One helpful first step might be to take stock of the relationship: 

• What are our shared values? What is important to both of us—in general and regarding the relationship? (e.g., empathy, faithfulness, respect, support...)
• How much time are we currently spending together? How are we using this time? Do we have regular “couple time” (e.g., weekly dates)? Which daily rituals (e.g., having breakfast together) could strengthen us as a couple?
• What is our communication like? Is it characterised by admiration and appreciation or by criticism and accusations?
• What are each of our needs? How can we both better address each other's needs? 

All good things require effort and energy. Even good relationships entail facing challenges—including relational issues. A positive outlook regarding your future together is instrumental in overcoming these challenges. That is our desire for you! 

External Pressures

Sometimes, relationship stress during pregnancy can emerge over time. Stressful situations caused by external factors may affect your relationship as a couple. Often, interference from others can also cause confusion and tension.
Sometimes, couples put themselves under a lot of pressure resulting from disagreements about the future, self-imposed expectations, or expectations of others.

When dealing with tensions in the relationship, guard your time together as a couple so you can weather the storms together.
It can also be helpful to remove some of the pressure you are placing on yourselves for everything to be perfect. While encountering manifold changes triggered by the pregnancy, your response need not be perfect to become great parents.

Time to Unwind can also be beneficial. Often, everyday stress wears down your nerves, making it harder to interact with each other in a relaxed and loving way. It might help to think about how to regain your inner calm and balance: What would allow me to unwind (e.g., an afternoon nap, having a regular day off)?
You may also want to think about unwinding together by stepping away from the daily grind. Maybe you could plan a small (romantic) getaway now and then.

Pregnant and the Relationship Is Over—Separation During Pregnancy?

When unsuccessful in resolving a conflict, separation during pregnancy may result. This is hard for everyone involved, especially for the pregnant woman. While grieving the relationship, she is also faced with concerns regarding the future.
The feeling of abandonment will likely hit hard when no longer united as a couple in such a vulnerable situation. Disoriented by the (sudden) change, it may take some time to find your footing and formulate new goals.
A breakup may give rise to a sense of (regained) freedom. Leaving arguments and relationship struggles behind, you may find that you can now focus on caring for yourself and the baby. This can be an opportunity to dedicate yourself more freely to preparing for motherhood while also reconnecting with friends and building healthy relationships with people who care.

• ⚖️ Wondering whether to have an abortion? — Take the Abortion Test
• 📝 Abortion: What Are My Personal Pros-and-Cons? — Quiz 

Why Do Relationships Fall Apart During Pregnancy?

While every breakup has its own individual reasons, similar patterns can sometimes be observed.

Why Do Guys Leave Pregnant Girlfriends?

In some cases, the guy may have approached the relationship purposefully or subconsciously in a more casual or non-committal way. Expecting a baby together—and the commitment that comes with having a child—can trigger panic and a fight-or-flight response.
Many men, especially those who don’t have children yet, also fear the unknown regarding fatherhood. Their concern often revolves around not measuring up as a dad. At its core, this fear usually reveals his conscientious thoughts.
Frequently, it takes guys time to adjust to the new situation, and they may initially withdraw. It’s not uncommon for the relationship to recover after the initial “shock phase.” Sometimes, all he needs is a word of encouragement and your expressed confidence in his ability to be a good dad. 

• Pregnant – He Doesn’t Want the Baby. Read more about why many guys react this way and how you can respond.

Ending a Relationship while Pregnant

Sometimes, women choose to end the relationship during pregnancy, for example, if they feel they can’t rely on their partner. If the relationship was already rocky before the pregnancy, an unfavourable reaction from her partner regarding the (unintended) pregnancy or lack of support may be a deciding factor for her to take this step.
However, it can be helpful to view the pregnancy as an opportunity to give him a chance to show responsibility. Sometimes, it’s best to keep a door open while communicating your desires regarding parenting together.

Dealing with a Breakup During Pregnancy

While the breakup is very fresh, emotions are still raw. At this point of processing and grieving, it would be challenging to explore new avenues. That is why practising self-care is crucial right now. Take advantage of anything that will restore and encourage you!

Maybe you are wondering how to get through this while pregnant. Or you may be thinking about issues regarding parenthood.
Even without a partner, pregnancy can be a beautiful experience, and motherhood can be a place to thrive. 

• 🙌 How can this look in practice? Go to Pregnant and Single

You may enjoy reading Malia's story by using Google Translate. She found out she was pregnant shortly after breaking up with her boyfriend and asked Profemina for advice.
💬 Read Malia’s story

You are not alone! Allow us to be your sounding board as you consider all the implications of your situation. Here are some of our quizzes that may match up with your circumstances: 

• 🙎🏻‍♂️ Acknowledging Paternity — How do I navigate issues with the dad?
• 👩‍👧‍👦 Single Parenting — Am I up for the challenge (again)? — Quiz
• 🙎‍♀️ Young and Pregnant: What are my options? Take the Quiz
• 💵 Pregnant and Worried About Money? — Quiz
• 🕒 Pregnant at the Wrong Time—Now What? Quiz 

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