Pregnant from a One Night Stand – Where to Go from Here?
- A pregnancy after a one-night stand (ONS) often comes as a complete shock – but it can happen despite using contraceptives.
- Even if you became pregnant because of casual sex, you are still entitled to the same rights given to any other expectant mother.
- Take time to consider your best course of action while seeking the care and support of others.
Pregnant by Another Man - Self Evaluation
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Returning from the Magic of the Moment to Stark Reality
You may have gotten a bit tipsy that night at a party or during a business trip. Your mutual attraction had you spellbound. The magic of the moment cast all else aside.
It has been a while since that night... But there is something about your little adventure – with no strings attached – that refuses to stay in the past. Perhaps your period is late, or you just took a pregnancy test that came back positive.
Understandably, this would come as a complete shock to you. Your feelings are probably alternating between panic and powerlessness. Several questions are likely running through your mind: How could this happen? Where do I go from here? Whom can I turn to? And: Should I let him know?
How Could This Happen? #onenightstand pregnant
You are not the only one facing this dilemma. Pregnancy after casual sex, such as a one-night stand or a Tinder date, is not uncommon. Of course, it is possible that one thing led to another, and contraception was the last thing on your mind. But this is not the norm.
Still, no form of contraception is foolproof. Pregnancy, despite contraceptives, is quite common.
There is no need to blame yourself or get reprimanded by others. Pregnancies can occur just as easily after a casual hookup as in a relationship – Even if you never expected to get pregnant after a one-night stand.
Should I Tell the Father of My Baby?
Of course, this pregnancy also concerns someone other than yourself: The baby's father. You may be wondering whether you should tell him. This could be a potentially sticky situation since it was supposed to be nothing more than a single night.
Unless it was a Tinder-style arrangement, your one-night stand was probably not planned. Now you may be facing some hurdles: You may only know his first name, and you may not have exchanged any contact information. Locating him may pose a challenge. Even if you are better acquainted, you may be unsure whether to tell him about the repercussions of your night together.
- You may be experiencing resentment or embarrassment over what has happened – for example, if you are in a relationship with someone else and this was just a slip-up or for similar reasons. Read more by going to our article Pregnant by Another Man
- You may fear his aggravation or coercive measures, e.g. if he is in another relationship or is making insinuations that the baby is not his. For advice and tips, go to He Doesn't Want the Baby
You have the right to protect yourself, regardless of the situation. For now, it may be wise to keep the pregnancy to yourself until you are sure what you want. Either way, deciding how to handle the pregnancy is entirely up to you.
Many men want to know if they have fathered a child – after all, it is their baby, too. Our counseling experience has proven that co-parenting is possible outside of a relationship. This may be a thought to consider in your situation.
Should you start out raising your child on your own, know that there is plenty of support available:
Does the Dad Have Rights and Obligations?
Even though the pregnancy was unintended, the father usually has certain obligations, such as paying child support.
From a legal standpoint, there is no difference between a baby conceived within a steady relationship or casual sex. Lawmakers have the child’s best interest in mind – it should not be disadvantaged by the marital status of its parents.
For more information, go to:
ℹ️ Note: If you purposely misled him to believe you were using contraception, paternal laws remain unaffected. His responsibility to the child remains the same, whether he agreed to the pregnancy or not.
If you do not feel you have the “right” to carry his baby, know: Expecting a baby is a game-changer. You have the legal backing to reassess this altered situation, considering every option.
What Matters Most
You may feel very alone in this pregnancy. Your first step may be to identify someone you can confide in: Someone who understands and is willing to listen rather than being judgmental or prone to suggest a quick fix.
Can you think of someone willing to walk this path alongside you? A good friend? Your sister? A kind aunt who is not easily flustered?... Someone who knows you well and respects your values?
Perhaps you do not want to share this with anyone – because you are afraid of being met with opposition or judgment. Neither would be very helpful to you in this situation. Understandably, that you want to guard yourself against negative reactions. This is where we come in.
- ⚖️ Wondering whether to have an abortion? Take the Abortion Test
- 👤 What is your personality type, and how does that affect your pregnancy? Take the Pregnancy Personality Test
- 🧔🏻♂️How do I respond if he does not want the baby? — Counseling Quiz
- 🍷🚬 Tobacco/alcohol/drugs: Has my consumption hurt the baby? — Test
- 💗 Could I be pregnant without penetration? Quiz
- 👩👧👦 Single Parenting — Am I up for the challenge (again)? — Quiz
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Abortion or Keep the Baby?
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